See what happens when you wear cheap sunglasses?

You turn into ZZ Top.

This public service message has been brought to you by the letter Z and ihateyoursunglasses.com.

She's BAAA-AAAACK!!!

Hello, Interwebs.

I'm sorry I fell off so hard, but I'm back and in full effect, yo!

And I would like to present, for your disappointment, this gem (from the regretsy archives):

I think she should hook up with Mr. ChainMail. Sure, these are lots of fun - until you run your Hyundai Accent into a telephone pole because you had the edges of your grandma's sitting room pillows gorilla-glued to some busted safety frames.

She didn't even put the studs on evenly.  I had friends in the early '90s that would kick your motherlovin' ass for wasting studs like that!

Jesus H. Macy.  I need a drink.

Sorry guys

I know, I fell off harder than that penguin-hater dude.  But I'll be back!  And soon!  Eesh! 
 

Honorable mention: Stuff White People Like

I'm not alone! 

(Ed. note: I have a pair of actual, real-live VINTAGE B&L Wayfarers, ground scored at a Dave Matthews Band concert.  Irony's a bitch, no?)

Check these mothers out.

GaGag me

So I have to admit that pop music is not so much for me.  Don't get me wrong - I like a catchy tune as much as the next person, but nine times out of ten, I just end up singing along in a Cartman voice or changing the lyrics to Slayer songs.  So it's not like I'm one of those fashionista types that use words like 'ferosh' or wear ankle boots with peep-toes, you know what I mean? 

Also, I think it's a little silly that everyone and their emo half-cousin is wearing glasses designed after something called blinds, but Bjork is STILL getting clowned for that oh-so-awesome swan dress. So I feel that it is time for me to truly bash the queen of horrible eyewear - Lady Gaga herself. I mean, come on.

Nothing says 'I want to put this on my face' more than MOTHERSCRATCHING RAZOR BLADES, right?

 Or maybe 'my shit don't fit'...

 

Or even better, 'Oooh I think I'll wear these in the sun and see what it looks like when I take these off'.

Over it.  Totally and completely over it.  People, we NEED to stop trying to look like b-list fame seekers.  It's bad enough when you see someone with a Kate Gosselin haircut and Sarah Palin glasses at the same time... but this, people... this has GOT to stop. 

WANTx12

Oh, god.

Gimme.  Just... gimme.

F'reals... HELLO KITTY CONTACT LENSES!?!?!?!?  Yesyesyesyes!!  I am full-on 30 years old and will slap these beautiful babies right onto my eyeballs as fast as you can say 'rejuvenile'. 

SRSLYTHO.  This just made my WHOLE day!

(I know, I'm nuts.  But because I went far enough as to train to be an Optician, I feel *completely* justified in wearing all that eyewear shiz most people won't.  Mines!  These HAVE to be MINES!!!!)

Please, no. Please, dear god, no.

So today I got an email from a friend of mine... subject line read simply (and in all caps), 'GHASTLY'.  I opened it to to find:

Really, people... this?  No.  No.  Please don't make me put these on your face.  Or if you do, please make them look like this.