I let you all down, and I let you down HARD. But it's ok, friends, I'm back. No more will you have to look in the mirror and think, 'What would that one lunatic on the internet say about my glasses?' I'm here, and more opinionated than ever.
However, it's not all peaches and cream. Oh, no. Life can't be that easy. No, it's become clear to me that there's something amiss in the optical fashion arena, and I place the blame squarely upon the soft, silky shoulders of American Apparel. And here is exactly why.
Look! You can see it in her face that she hates those glasses. But some moron that has no idea who Christa McAuliffe is decided that everyone should look like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie, and now this poor girl is stuck trying to pretend that she's happy about looking like me in the 4th grade.
Stop it, younglin'. It's not cool. Dont' believe me? Watch 9 to 5. When Lily Tomlin looks hotter than Jane Fonda, you need to ask yourself why. And the answer, babycakes, are those glasses.
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